“Do not think of yourself as a small, compressed, suffering thing. Think of yourself as graceful and expanding no matter how unlikely it may seem at the time.”
– BKS Iyengar
This morning as I was pondering yet again, what quote to share for this month’s newsletter the above message popped up on my phone when I turned it on.
Ah, that’s it! I started searching a few days ago, with the desire to find a quote that supported setting a positive tone for the new month and year, but none connected to me the way this one did. I’ve learned to trust in divine timing, to hand over my ideal timeline of expectations when things feel forced. I’ve learned to be patient when asking Spirit to send signs to help support and guide me. Sometimes the message comes immediately, sometimes it’s a few hours, days, months, or more, but the sign will always come for they never go unheard. So I was quite grateful it came this morning!
I’m guessing many of us are cautiously holding optimism for a better year ahead. The last two have certainly presented challenges that we could have never imagined previously. And I’m surmising the caution stems from many disappointments, grief from losses, and worries of the future, all of which have been constant and prolonged. If we are constantly living in fear, grief, or worry, it will drain us. Our life force becomes so depleted that it affects our ability to cope with what is happening in our life and the world around us. It can make us forget our own resiliency, the innate power we have within ourselves to choose how we respond to what is occurring.
Each of us has the capacity to thrive through unwelcomed changes, for we are beings of consciousness that can withstand all forces. What delays us in moving forward is our own resistance. None of us want to suffer, to feel pain or sorrow, we prefer life to be smoothly wonderful, filled with nothing but joy, and we get mad as heck when things don’t go the way we planned. Most of the time painful events in our life are not by our choosing, and when they come, we fight to push them away. But if you refuse to acknowledge and sit with what comes, not only will it continue to drain you, but it will block you from truly stepping forward.
This month we celebrate two birthdays in my family. Our delightful daughter who turns four, and our heavenly sent son who would be turning six. I understand deeply what it is like to be submerged in pain that seems to never go away. To feel as if you are constantly walking uphill with 100 extra pounds weighted onto your back. I know how it feels to think you may never see the sun or smile again. This knowing has been embedded into every cell in my body.
But I also know how it feels to consciously choose to sit with that pain. I will admit it happened from the sheer fatigue of constantly trying to run from it. There came a day where I could run no longer, I had to surrender in staying. I was terrified. I thought the pain would swallow me up into a place from which I could never return. I remember how suffocating it felt. At first, the grip was so tight, I thought it would never let go and I would be lost forever. But in that moment of complete surrender, something else happened. I felt as if I had somehow stepped through a doorway into another dimension. A place filled with hope, love, and joy. There, in that moment of time, I equally held joy and sorrow. I could feel the energies of both emotions swirling within me. It was then that I understood that pain was not something I could avoid. Most importantly, I understood that pain does not have to stop me from experiencing joy.
My greatest wish for this year and for all beings is that we pause to deeply connect with ourselves. To prioritize taking care of ourselves so that we can listen and step into our own power. To remember that we are always supported and that we can ask Spirit for guidance when troubled. And to understand that we can keep expanding and hold all that life is and brings.
I wrote an entire chapter about seeing and receiving messages from Spirit in a book published late last year. The entire book is filled with inspiring spiritual stories, people who found their voice after great difficulty. If you are ready for an uplifting read, you can order a signed copy here.